Sunday, October 12, 2008

LETTERS FROM STEVO: Saucerful of Secrets...The Unauthorized Biography of Craig!

Today, we celebrate the birthday of Craig "He-Who-Loves-BYU-When-They're-Winning" Thornton. He is my dad-in-law and I know how old he is but I won't divulge the exact number...but I reckon it's pert near 60. So, in honor of his birthday I decided I would construct the unauthorized biography and divest some little known facts about the mysterious persona that makes up "Craig".

We'll start with hobbies. Craig's hobbies include, golf, basketball, church basketball, softball, watching golf, watching the grass grow on golf courses, mashing potatoes, giving his wife grief, giving his daughters grief, monster tag with the grandkids, smarting off to his eldest son-in-law and knitting sweaters. He also carries a passion for cute, fluffy bunnies and kittens.

What are his favorites songs you ask? See below.
- Showtunes- specifically tunes from "Mama Mia" and "Cats."
- Anything Celine Dion
- "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond
- "Beer Drinkers, Hell Raisers" by ZZ Top
- "Girlz Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper
- Pretty much anything Pink Floyd-Specifically "Dark Side of the Moon." Auto-biographical perhaps?

Favorite Movies:
- Joe Vs. The Volcano
- Titanic
- Gremlins
- Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

In conclusion, many dudes from church comment about how intense he is while playing sports, i.e, basketball and softball. All I can say is that I have a method of calming him down when he gets uptight like that. I simply grab one of ear and pull on it...he settles down in no time! He's also ticklish. He's really one big softie, all bark, no bite. He's a good dad-in-law who I enjoy talking trash to since he's such an easy target. He also does a good job staying active for an old codger...As the old bluesmen say, "a rolling stone gathers no moss." Happy birthday, brother!

I had made up a story about his childhood that involved potato farming QA, spam, green jello with carrot strips and funeral potatoes, but Amy didn't like it...I've been censored!


Emily Shafenberg said...

True Favorite movies...
The Natural
Any James Bond
The Rookie

I think he cries whenever he watches them. I love you Dad!! Happy Birthday!

CraigT said...

Note the title of this blog. "Unauthorized" pretty much says it all. I've never read such a load of you know what! Anyone who really knows me knows I hate cats! Paybacks, Steffan, paybacks!