Saturday, July 12, 2008

LETTERS FROM STEVO: Diary of a Madman!





Mya's birthday went off without a hitch (thanks largely to Amy)...celebrating Mya's fifth birthday made me reflect a little about my blonde haired, blue eyed diva. I recall the day she came out via C section (and yes I watched the whole procedure...I'm a sick man!) and Mya was placed on the table to be examined like fungus in a petrie dish. She screamed and screamed and screamed! She was seriously ticked after discovering these new sensations of light and dry air, I felt a strange sense of foreshadowing of future events... As a newborn she would wake up every morning at 5am and I would lay her on my chest to fall back asleep. Not even a year old yet, she would pick up on my rather blunt and coarse language...I believe her interpretation of my word was, "sit!" She would laugh hysterically after saying it! And yeah...so I curse every once in awhile! What are you gonna do about it??? In a nutshell, her birth may have been the single most euphoric event of my stubborn and sarcastic life!


Not to change the subject or anything, but...Amy has a strange habit of placing random things/clothes/scrapbooking materials on the dryer and leaving them there. I believe she considers it storage space. It drives me nuts! It's clutter and it's in the way! What could possibly be so wonderful about leaving random objects on the dryer??? I have a theory. I believe the act gives Amy some sort of high or something...that's the only thing I can think of. Maybe it releases certain amounts of seratonin in the brain like a narcotic...and Amy's addicted! I've been tempted to try this myself, but I fear the high may be too much for me to bear and I'll develop an addiction! Then imagine how much crap gets piled on that dryer!!! I don't even want to think about it...must...stay...strong... Wait! Maybe Amy has something deeply ENSCONSED in the pile of rubbish? I just had to use the word ENSCONSED because it's one I recently learned from Nat Gibson and I had been desirous to utilize this new little treasure. I get like that with new words...I have to use them. For example, my boss once taught me the word MOTIF and I was fascinated by it. You have to remember, I was schooled in small desert town academics where learnedness is not prized.


Peyton has decided that it's funny to pat my stomach and say, "big belly!" and then laugh hysterically! What gives! About a month ago, an opponent in flag football called me a "fat #%@!" after I mauled him a little...again, what gives! Like I need to be reminded that I have a bit of a weight problem??? So I'm a bigger guy...there's just more of me to love! I could not only bench press the guy in flag football, he would be my warm up! I've already put up my uncle Bill and Dustin (guy dating Jen)...and I've got my sights set on Cory and Craig "He-Who-Sunbathes-in-His-Backyard" Thornton.


5 comments:

Jen said...

HA HA HA!!! Steffan, you are awesome and random! I love it!

Renee said...

What's wrong with sunbathing in the backyard? At least now he's got some privacy and isn't doing it on the greenbelt.

CraigT said...

Steffan, you better be careful about what you write about your wonderful father-in-law. Don't be giving away any of my secrets. Remember, no tan lines when you do it in the backyard!

Emily Shafenberg said...

Sick I didn't need to know he sunbathes in the back yard. Watch out neighbors. Steffan we like that you have more to love. That's why Aaron and I will now be greeting you with hugs whenever we see you.

Rachel Mai said...

Happy Birthday, Mya!!!! Love, aunt rach.