Wednesday, June 25, 2008

LETTERS FROM is only skin deep! It's what's inside that counts! Supplemental material: Tonka Trucks!

As you can tell by the picture above, Peyton has a thing for fish. I just hope that particular fish is female! We were at Clay's pond and Craig "He-Who-Wears-White-Moccasins" Thornton had just given me some pointers on how to properly cast a line. I had some rookie luck and caught a couple of bass. After catching one particular bass Peyton was instructed to give the fish a kiss and without any hesitation proceeded with an attempt to give Big Mouth Billy Bass a big wet lickery kiss right on the slimy ol' smoochers! Needless to say he was restrained! I guess there's no accounting for taste! Dependent upon his mood, Peyton can either be extremely obedient or extremely defiant/stubborn...there's not much middle ground. He also possesses an INTENSE love of animals. He once tried to hold a newborn chick and smushed it...fatally crippling it! Had PETA heard about this, they would've doused him in fake blood! Also, in case your wondering, Peyton's hair was hit by a tornado and hasn't been the same since.

In other news, I had the opportunity of a lifetime and took full advantage of it! DIA has it's own Employment office and they have set up a CDL training program for those desirous to obtain a CDL. The dude heading this thing up invited me and other DIA employers to a lunch to discuss the program further. I was the only employer who showed up! After lunch, he showed me the course that they use which entails a large paved lot and copious amounts of orange cones strategically placed to either confuse people or induce seizures (I'm not sure which). Someone then pulled up one of those large, yellow, City of Denver snow plow/dump trucks because they had an appointment scheduled for a wannabe CDL driver. This person apparently didn't want to be a CDL driver that bad because he/she didn't show up. So the guy says to me, "hey, you wanna try out the course?" I said, "yeah, let me get my rental car and we'll see what it can do!" He said, "You wanna try the dump truck?" I said, "hell yeah!" So we hopped in and I got to drive the course! Only a few cones were destroyed...human casualties were relatively minimal. After the course, I figured we were done, but then he said, "you wanna take it out on the road?" I said, "hell yeah!" So I got to drive it down the road a ways and test out the dump bucket and everything! I thought I'd died and gone to heaven! Upon arrival, a woman who works for the employment office that I know made the following observation, " you boys never give up your Tonka trucks, do you!" To which I responded, "no we sure don't!" That made my week! The dump truck in the upper left corner is what I drove.

Lastly, in case any are wondering, Amy is still alive (Neil Entwhistle I'm not). I continually encourage her to write something, but she claims to be "busy". She tells me that she's got to raise a husband and 2 kids and work or something... I don't know, it's confusing to me...clear as mud?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

LETTERS FROM STEVO...That's right...I attended a chick concert!

On Monday, Amy and I went to a Sheryl Crow concert at Red Rocks. I had not been to that venue yet and I was definitely impressed with it. As we entered the venue, I noticed something out of place at the front. No room for a mosh pit! How can there be any moshing without a designated moshing area? Is this really even a concert venue? Were we at the right place? I soon realized after seeing the other concert attendees that even if there were a pit, I would be the lone mosher. There was a lot of estrogen in all it's varieties at that concert! The concerts I typically attend have louder and faster guitars and there is usually a mosh pit.

The opening act was a singer/songwriter named Belinda...ERRR Brandi Carlyle. I had never heard of her, apparently she's famous because some of her songs get played at the end of the Grey's "Anatomy" shows. You know, the part at the end of the show when there's some lady narrating (is it Grey talking? Or her anatomy?) and the cameras cut to each character blankly staring off into space as if they were pontificating Hawking's theory of black holes or something. I never catch the lyrics to the songs either (probably because I don't care enough to)...I'm sure the songs are of emotions and relationships backed by an acoustic guitar and a whiny voice singing said lyrics. At any rate, I kept forgetting that it's not Belinda, it's Brandi...I had to continually fight the urge to ask her if the Go-Go's were getting back together. To her credit, she and her band did a great cover of Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues."

Then came Sheryl Crow, one of Amy's all time favorite artists. She says she listens to her a lot when she's mad at me...apparently I'm her "favorite mistake." The concert was fun, I enjoyed observing all the middle aged people (especially the men) awkwardly try to kind of dance/move to the music (think deacon shuffle).

Monday, June 9, 2008

LETTERS FROM STEVO...Earth to you read me? Houston, we have a diva!

Mya has officially announced what her occupation in adulthood will be. It all started this past week... Amy and I got to go see her pre-school graduation and each distinguished, runny nosed graduate was given the opportunity to announce to the audience what they wanted to be when they grew up. Most of the kids said things like, firefighter, vet, mommy, etc. One boy said he wanted to be a "stay-at-home man"...hey, don't we all kid, I think they call it "self-employment". Then we get to Mya, and what does she say you ask? Mya said that when she grows up, she wants to be a fairy. Wait, come again?!? A fairy??? FAIRY??? What kind of an answer is that? We laughed (as did everyone else in the audience) but I was ultimately dumbfounded. How are we supposed to respond to that? So we began to question Mya about it..."so, Mya, why do you want to be a fairy when you grow up?" Or, "so, Mya, do you know anyone else who grew up to become a fairy?" And of course the obvious questions, "so, Mya, does it pay well? How are the benefits? What are the requirements to apply? i.e. schooling, certifications, etc." (yeah, maybe I am thinking about a career change, what's your point?!?) Her response has basically been that she wants to become a fairy because she just wants to and that she has never seen anyone become a fairy. We also asked her some logistical questions about how one goes about acquiring wings...It doesn't appear that she had put much thought into logistics at that point. That's where we left it...I'll keep you posted.
Mya has also decided that she wants to start a rock band. She of course is the lead singer and her girlfriends from school will fill out the rest of the roster. We discussed band names and I suggested "Fairy Princess"...she liked it initially but ultimately settled on "Wild Animals". I asked her if she was going to do Hannah Montana covers and she responded that she would prefer to come up with her own material. I figure Amy could be the manager, I'll handle security and be the announcer..."you wanted the best! You got the best..." And Peyton will hang out in the pit and initiate the moshing! That sounds like a solid business plan! She is taking piano lessons, so she's getting a good foundation. She is also doing dance again this year and is doing very well! I had the opportunity to see her in a rehearsal and she has it down pretty good! Not bad considering she missed a month with her body cast!
Finally, it was brought to my attention yesterday that Mya was very good in Primary...I wasn't aware that she was misbehaving before so I'm not quite sure how to take this report on my daughters behavior. I was then told that I needed to give her some positive know...a pat on the back...a good hand shake...because apparently my brain isn't developed enough to come to such conclusions on my own. Good behavior = positive reinforcement? Me understand!