Sunday, November 30, 2008

LETTERS FROM STEVO: Gobble! Gobble! & other Random Warblings

We had a great Thanksgiving. We spent the lovely holiday in the thriving metropolis of Farmington. Big Dave and I played in a turkey bowl...and yes, it was tackle(because that is how we do it!). We stayed in our chairs, kept our hands up, kept our heads on a swivel and insert all the other football cliches here. The trip was good other than the flight home. Peyton threw a massive temper tantrum because he didn't get to sit by his mama. I was burning with so much fury, you could've fried an egg on my head! In other words, I was so angry, I wanted to shove gun powder up my nose, light a match and REALLY blow it! GRRR!

This last week, we went on a date night with the Shafs and the Cory/Tiff combo to watch the much ballyhooed "Twilight". I had heard of these illustrious books written by some mormon gal, but have not read them and was only vaguely familiar with the story. Emily in particular is a dedicated fan. The story is an estrogen filled teeny bopper's dreamland; full of unrealistic human behavior. An average girl with little personality being stalked relentlessly by a "dashing" young man of equally little personality but great looks. My favorite part was the vampire taking the girl up to the sunlight to show her what he really was. I remember thinking, "excellent! He's gonna be this cool looking demonic monster thing!" Well, not quite. Instead, he's "sparkly". Are you kidding me??? Sparkly??? Say it with a lisp for added effect. I often wonder what I was doing watching that movie that night...

On an unrelated topic, Mya needs to learn how to treat her boyfriends. This past week, one of her boyfriends complimented the dress she was wearing and she shot back that it was not a dress, but a skirt! It's called grace and tact Mya...sheesh! Even I know that! Graceless lady! You know who I am. You know I can't let you...slide through my hand!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

LETTERS FROM STEVO: Oh Canada!...A Salute to America's Hat!

I once heard someone refer to Canada as "America's Hat". I find that description fitting. So, if Canada is America's hat, then what does that make Texas? California? Just think about it...imagining that the east coast is facing forward. How's that for a geography lesson! I'm thinking about the Great White North because I just spent this past week in Ottawa for work. I had never ventured into Canada before, so I didn't know quite what to expect. I found their native dialect to be eerily similar to English, with an occasional "eh?" at the end of some of the more jovial expressions. They understand the stereotype and they honestly don't think they say it that much. I had to inform them that compared to the distant land that I'm from, NOBODY uses that expression, so from my perspective it is used quite frequently.

I learned how to barter with these people in their native currency. I figured out that if you pay for something in American coinage, they will give change in their worthless Canadian currency. What is the name of their currency anyway??? I'm officially naming it the "canuck". So, the exchange rate would be the canuck vs. the dollar. Works for me! And, in case you may be wondering, it was freakin' freezin' up there! Ottawa is just north of New York state and the Great Lakes. I hadn't experienced lake effect wind chill since my days in Ohio! They use this strange temperature measuring system called celsius. I think they use celsius because it makes it seem colder. 0 degrees celsius is freezing...that seems colder compared to 32 degrees fahrenheit! They take pride in their colder weather! From a culinary perspective, Canada, like Colorado, isn't really known for anything...there isn't a specialty food. They do have a chain of joints called, "Tim Hortons" that has some great chili. My coworkers made fun of me because I would constantly refer to it as "Tim Hoskins".

From a historical/cultural perspective, I found it to be a mix of European and American culture. They can't seem to decide which way they want to go, so their stuck in the middle. Depending on who you ask, some people prefer the European vibe, while others prefer the American vibe...just personal preference. While we Americans violently overthrew the yoke of our oppressors from that quaint little isle across the pond, Canada got down on their knees and asked politely to be somewhat independent of the throne...and this was quite sometime after we had already taken care of business! Different strokes for different folks, eh? A fellow American traveller informed me to pay attention to the news and current events in Canada. He told me that when I come back, they'll be talking about the exact same things...I'll have to watch for that, as I'm going to be venturing up there every so often.

In summary, my trip was surprisingly pleasant, the people were nice, the food was descent, and there were some fun observations to made, eh? They really need to get the queen off their coinage though...weak!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

LETTERS FROM STEVO: Caught in a mosh? Not quite...

I've been listening to heavy metal since I was an early teen. I had been around it since I was very young, thanks to a couple of older cousins who would listen to the likes of Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Motley Crue and AC/DC. I never got into the hair bands...unlike one of my brothers who shall remain nameless, but you can probably guess which one it is because he's such a BIG softie! My first metal band was Metallica, who I consider to be the entry level band into the genre for pretty much everybody. You start listening to Metallica, next thing you know you're listening to other metal bands, it's the natural progression. Before long, I found myself listening to Pantera, Slayer, Danzig, etc. This music fits my style and was theraputic in my rebellious, turbulent, testosterone filled teen years. Big Dave and I never got to see Metallica (or anyone else for that matter)because we lived in a small market... Reason #565 why growing up in a small town sucks is that you never get to go to concerts! I was finally able to see Metallica for the first time about 10 years ago in Utah of all places! However, Big Dave had still not seen them...Ahh! That's something we'll have to remedy now won't we!

Well, this past Tuesday, Big Dave saw Metallica live! Add one more to the bucket list! We found out a few months ago that they were coming to Denver on election night, so we got our tickets. Once Ma Busch found out I was going, she exhorted me, "you better behave yourself!" What initially was going to be just Dave and I ended up becoming a posse of 7. We had myself, Big Dave, Craig "He-Who-Thought-He-Would-Get-A-Headache" Thornton, Brother Cory, Dusty, Dvecchio and ACK! We had a blast! Metallica is so old now, they attract a more "mature" crowd to their concerts..."mature" translates to "lame" in my vocab. It was a pretty tame crowd. We watched the first band "The Sword"...they're pretty good, I like them. The next band was "Down" one of my favorites. I made dvecchio go with me and see them last year. They are composed of guys from other bands who originated in New Orleans. The lead singer, Phil Anselmo was the lead singer of Pantera and I seriously idolized that guy in high school...I'm not kidding! I warned Paw-in-law he's pretty outspoken and there's no filter with what he says. He's a pretty entertaining front man and by the end of the show, I could hear Paw-in-law saying, "I like that Anselmo guy!" I found that amusing because earlier that day, he was asking me if he was going to get a headache at the if I know the goings on in that man's head...nobody knows what's going on in that man's head! During the show, we noticed this middle aged fruity guy dancing as if he were at an Abba concert. My initial thought was, "How did Bud get here???" Once I realized it wasn't Bud, we could only surmise that he must have thought he was at a Madonna concert. Had he been in Farmington, he wouldn't have survived the evening...the fact that he was among a "mature" crowd probably saved his life! Finally, we got Metallica, they've definitely gotten older as they only played for 2 hours...they used to play a lot longer! Big Dave loved it! ACK! was so into it he was going nuts! Cory and I were headbanging and singing along as loud as we could! Paw-in-law had a great time and has been talking about it ever since! The only regret is that we should've purchased general admission and gone to the front...I was hesitant because I didn't want to subject poor ol' Paw-in-law to a mosh pit...but it turns out there wasn't any real moshing going on, again, "mature" crowd. It was no "Metallica 10 years ago" or Slayer for that matter, but it was still good and I had great company!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

LETTERS FROM STEVO...Amy's Dirty Thirty!

Contrary to popular belief, that devastatingly good looking, young, thin, irresistable to women, hunk is yours truly. That is not Amy's ex-husband, nor did I eat that guy...literally anyway. That picture was taken 8 years ago when Amy graduated (in 3 years as she was bragging about in her recent post) from college. Amy studied international politics and spent her final semester in DC working as an intern for Democratic Congressman Tom Lantos. So, in celebration of Amy's "dirty thirty" birthday, I'll post my customary blog roast in dedication to my beloved wife. My focus will be our courtship.

I first met Amy in Provo at a house I was living in with 8-10 other guys. Amy and her roomates came by our house for a get together with others...upon introductions, Amy couldn't take her eyes off me! At that time, I was working full-time driving a forklift for a soup manufacturing company in Heber City, I hadn't started college yet, but was working on enrolling...I know what you're thinking..."A rough, forklift certified hunk from New Mexico? How could Amy have resisted??" Since I was this unpolished, roughneck dude who hadn't started college yet, Amy viewed me as someone to hook up with (if you know what I mean!) on a strictly non-commitment level. I viewed Amy as just another BYU gal fawning over me. We remained friends and dated other people...we even joked that we would get married but still see other people! I noticed Amy was a little on the "bossy" side and once commented to her that I felt sorry for the dude who married her!

During these times I often reflected upon what exactly I wanted in a spouse. I decided certain traits took precedence over others. There obviously had to be a physical attraction, but I also put a heavey focus on gals who possessed personality, spunk, wit, intelligence and humor. I had to be married to someone I felt I could BS with and debate things with. I can get bored with people after a while, so I had to be with someone that would keep me on my toes! After sifting through many females and formulating what I wanted, I began seeing that Amy was someone worth chasing. For her part, Amy also began to realize I wasn't the bumpkin scumbag she initially thought I was! As these opinions were begining to materialize, Amy decided to go to DC for a semester.

Once I had a dream that I proposed to Amy, it was over for me...I was hooked and knew who I wanted. I was living in a different house at this point that was nicknamed "The Zoo" because it housed 10 college guys, 2 Egyptians, 2 pit bulls and a python...I'm not kidding! Three of my roomates were talking about dating Amy when she got back to Provo, and I'm not talking about the 2 Egyptians and the python! I realized I needed to be more aggressive and use all the game I had! So I began emailing Amy quite a bit and needless to say, the flirtations got pretty deep! This was all happening during a fall semester and in December I lost Ol' Ern to a car accident and had to take a sabbatical to New Mexico for a couple of weeks. Of course, I stayed in touch with Amy and we both returned to Provo around the same time. We immediately started roomates didn't have a chance! The rest as they say is history!

The following is a list of why I like Amy:

- She pretty much lets me do whatever I want
- She appreciates my twisted humor and sarcasm
- She is my biggest critic and will call me out on my BS anytime.
- I can be extremely honest with her
- We get our issues out in the open. This can be fun to watch since neither of us will back down from a good fight!
- She is the black sheep of her family, yet her sisters have a high respect for her and look to her for advice.
- She thinks she's always right and I LOVE it when she's wrong!!!
- Ma Busch thinks she's a saint
- Bud thinks she hung the moon

Happy Birthday Dork!