Tuesday, January 27, 2009

LETTERS FROM STEVO: Happy Birthday to Stevo's Baby Brother!

Every year on January 24th we celebrate the birthday of a special person. It is the day that Stevo's...ahem...little brother Big Dave was born. My birthday present to Big Dave this year will be my obligatory blog roast of him! I know him better than most, so this should be easy! I can sense Big Dave getting a little squeamish right about now...

Big Dave and I are just 18 months apart in age, so we bascially spent our entire childhoods together. Dave was tall for his age, so we were always the same size as kids. The closeness in size and age resulted in us often times being treated like twins by our parents and other people in our lives. We also fought constantly! It typically started with words and ended in physical violence. As time went on, we were often critized by Ol' Ern for our gigantic eating habits...we eventually had to resort to covert operations to obtain necessary nutrients (snacks) without Ol' Ern hearing us! For if we were caught, we should surely die! Viva La Revolution!!!

Character traits as a child- very ticklish, could make friends with anybody and had a great love of little lost puppies...he would bring them home and name them "Sport". He would love his "Sport" until Ma Busch sent the little lost puppy packin' down the road. He's always had a big heart and cares deeply for the feelings of others...some might say "sensitive"...until you pissed him off, then he turned into a dragon.

As a teenager, Big Dave frequented many girlfriends. His hobbies included Nintendo, making mixed tapes complete with Bon Jovi, Def Leppard and Poison for his girlfriends and of course drinking Kool-Aid while watching his favorite movie, "Grease II". He also hosted numerous "chip N dip" parties to attract the ladies!

As an adult, Big Dave has grown into a fruitful and productive citizen (accessories include bachelor's degree, well paying job and family). He has become quite the banker financial economist...guy. He always did well in math and it is now paying dividends...no Dave, I don't need an explanation of how exactly it is paying dividends!

In summary, Big Dave is one of my best friends and confidantes...I tell him things I don't tell anyone else. I could write volumes on our childhood and the pychology behind it. He is absolutely one of my favorite people and if you haven't already met him, I highly recommend you go out of your way and make an effort to.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Quickie With Stevo...Musings of Mya

With Martin Luther King day freshly behind us, Mya learned a bit about him at school. To quote Mya directly..."Martin Luther King was a speaker, a leader, a man of great courage, a hero, wise and he makes us equal". Bud thinks Mya will have the world subdued and under her control by her early 20's. We'll just have to wait and see...

One of Mya's characteristics is her vivid imagination. This can be both a strength and at times a weakness. On Sunday afternoon, during the NFL's conference championships, Craig "He-Who-is-Learning-to-be-a-Team-Player" Thornton decided it was a good idea to show his grandkids "Spiderman 3". This is the episode with the villians "Venom" and "Sandman" and is rated PG-13. Mya was enthralled by the movie, but I could tell the villians were going to scare her later that night. I warned Craig this was a bad idea. Needless to say Mya was scared to death that night and had to sleep with me while Amy slept in Mya's bed! I had a problem with this on two levels. 1)- Mya is too young and imaginitive for this movie and 2)- this was being shown during the conference championships! Sad...I asked Craig if "The Exorcist" was on tap for next Sunday! Perhaps some readings of Stephen King!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Quickie With Stevo...Work Holiday Parties

We attended our first holiday party with my new company on Saturday. I've never really enjoyed work parties that much. Holiday parties are typically an HR nightmare...a molotov cocktail of racial tension, sexual harassment and table dancing. An old boss at an old company actually broke her nose from falling on her face after table dancing...and she was HR!

The party was at the University Club downtown. The theme was masqueradish with gambling sprinkled in. At first, I wasn't going to buy a mask for the occasion, until I found out the CEO was being adamant about it so I complied. Amy and I went to the happy, fun, party joint and bought mardi gras masks. The party was actually pretty fun. We ate good food, enjoyed good company and I learned how to play craps. Basically, I learned that you place your bet on some numbers, throw the dice and occasionally the dealer gives you a few chips back.

My co-workers also got to meet Amy. Frequent comments on Amy included..."how did you swindle her into marrying you!"..."you don't deserve her!"..."your wife is such a sweetheart!" I've kept my response consistent...a little charm can go a long way! You charm your way in, seal the deal, get her investment and BAM...hook, line and sinker! You like that? I have another saying, a confident look and a clipboard will get you anywhere!

Friday, January 2, 2009

LETTERS FROM STEVO...Is it really 2009? Relax, a bunch of dead people say the end of the world is 3 years away!

So the earth has revolved around the sun one more time...Excellent! Let's celebrate like it's a miracle this has occurred! I have a hunch it's going to do it a few more times before its all said and done...just call it a hunch. I keep seeing this History Channel advertisement for a show about all the alleged prophecies for the end of the world in the year 2012... The Maya's, Nostradamus (no Thornton clan, I didn't say Nordstrom's...relax, there's no sale going on). I have a feeling Nostradamus is going to lose what little credibility he has left in 2013...we can probably quit talking about the Maya around that time as well.

I don't do new years resolutions as I'm not really a goal oriented person (I wander aimlessly thru life and occasionally happen upon success). With that being said, let's look at some New Year's resolutions and goals for Stevo & friends in 2009!

- Craig "Curlz for the Gurlz" Thornton did a 3 minute plank the other day at the gym...impressive! He has resolved to up that time to a 5 minute plank by year's end.

- Amy resolves to let Stevo out of the doghouse for the first time in almost 9 years and finish her memoir titled, "Living with Stevo"

- Peyton resolves to be gentler with grandma Shirley's cat...no chick casualties either!

- Mya resolves to conquer the world with her wit, charm, indominable spirit and talent for B.S.!

- Bud resolves to learn all the dance moves from "Mama Mia"

- Ma Busch resolves to put an end to her QVC purchasing habit and move to more modernized online shopping...does Hobby Lobby have a website?

- Big Dave resolves to become the next Milt Friedman/Warren Buffet/Adam Smith

- The Thornton/Carlson clan resolves to single handedly keep Nordstrom's in business through this tough economy

- Brother Mike resolves to stop "surfing the web" and sleeping so much and to finally take his wife out on a real date

Last but certainly not least, Stevo resolves to do the following:

- Provide more fodder for Amy's above mentioned memoir
- play on the church basketball team, "You tell 'em I'm comin'...and I'm bringin' HELL with me!!!"
- Go a year without buying any shoes
- Make sure Cory finally gets to see "The Godfather"...both I and II...ok, maybe III too!
- And of course, provide you all with more "Letters from Stevo" and "Quickie with Stevo"